Monday, October 10, 2016

Because I Like to Make Lists..

Things I have "let go" of:

Having a clean house
Furniture without stains, unbroken furniture, new furniture
Carpet that doesn't smell like poop
Carpet that doesn't smell like pee
Free time
Sleep
My book
Going to the gym
TV and reading

Things I have "let go" of for my eldest:

College
Respect
Effort
Doing schoolwork
Tae Kwon Do
Basketball
Tennis
Practicing Guitar
Doing his chores
Showering
Laundry
Kindness


Things I have "let go" of for my girls:

Any expectations for emotional regulation
Dressing appropriately for the weather
Eating well
Avoiding dairy

Things I have "let go" of for my youngest:
Potty training
Screaming

Things I am trying to focus on for everyone but the eldest:

Everyone has inherent dignity, we should respect ourselves and others.
Thoughtfullness
Gratitude
Trying new things is part of growth
Making mistakes is ok
God loves you, follow Him
You are precious to me and I am always here for you.
Books are life.

Things I am trying to focus on for my eldest:

This is my house, you don't set the rules here.
If you don't care, I can't care for you.
It's your life.
I love you no matter what, but that doesn't mean I like what you do.

1 comment:

Ann said...

Just wanted to send good thoughts for you with your eldest. My kids are all grown and we have just recently become grandparents (3 weeks ago!).
Hang in there. Dealing with teenager is so difficult and some are more difficult than others.
The new mom in our family is doing a terrific job. She had quite a few challenges in these last 3 weeks but she is putting her child first, despite her pain or lack of sleep. It is beautiful to watch.
But I never thought I'd have the chance to watch this. She was the most difficult teenager. We aren't talking minor insubordination here. We are talking about drugs and alcohol, running away, mental health institutions, droping out of school. Pretty much every bad thing I could think of.
My prayers in those days were that she would live. I didn't think we would ever have a good relationship again, but I just wanted her to stop the behaviors that were life threatening.
And here we are, years later. I'm sitting here waiting for her to stop over with her baby. She has thanked me and praised me more in the last 3 weeks than in all of her 31 years!
I pray you, too, will have this goodness with your eldest. Keep praying.