Saint Generator. How's that for God's hand at work?
Since his arrival I have been overwhelmed with gratitude. I am so thankful to God that he is healthy and strong. I am so glad the pregnancy is over and my health, energy, and functionality has returned! I am so grateful to all those who prayed for me and the baby, brought us meals, sent money so we could hire help, and took care of us when we couldn't.
Things are much better now that the baby is here. Of course, now that the baby is here I suddenly have four children, and WOW, is there a learning curve. I talked with a good friend of mine (who will be this baby's Godmother) with six kids, and she said flat out that there's a huge difference between three kids and four. "Don't let anyone fool you," she told me. "Four kicks your butt."
Yep. But in a good way.
So I have been completely overwhelmed and busy in a way that I don't ever remember being busy before. I have also gotten help in the form of a weekly house cleaner, a morning babysitter, an afternoon babysitter who drives, and disposable diapers. I might get to the point where I am ready to switch to cloth, but for right now I am acknowledging my weakness and my limitations and I am simply letting that go.
My mood is all over the place. I am seeing a new therapist who is helping me learn Dialectical Behavioral Therapy skills. I am neither Bipolar nor suicidal, but I do believe my depression is largely situational rather than chemical. We will try this method (which has had success with severely depressed patients) and see how I respond.
The good news is that now that I am no longer pregnant, my nausea has completely disappeared and I can concentrate on putting real, nutritious food into my body instead of driving through Steak and Shake every day for a double cheeseburger and fries. I am a big advocate of natural healing through real food. Part of my pregnancy depression stemmed from my powerlessness to eat the way I believe is optimally healthy. Now that the baby is out, the whole family is gluten-free and organic. I'm not saying food is the only answer, but I definitely believe it has an impact on my energy level, my mood, and my ability to deal with everything that's on my plate. Plus, it tastes good! I am so happy to enjoy my meals and cook again.
The older kids are in love with their new brother and are constantly begging to hold him, kiss him, and pet him. The joy he brings with his arrival is such a blessing.
I'm typing this post while nursing, of course, and listening to my sweet little newborn sigh and slurp. Is there anything sweeter than a brand new baby?