tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post395269866929737949..comments2023-04-04T04:54:23.650-07:00Comments on Take the Poor With You: A Journey in Radical Stewardship: An Embarassment of RichesTiennehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13315891571577431883noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-51462599898645828792011-08-21T12:57:35.061-07:002011-08-21T12:57:35.061-07:00Wonderfully inspiring to be so giving and still to...Wonderfully inspiring to be so giving and still to find gratitude in tithing. When we look at what we have and not what we don't have, we suddenly realize how fortunate we are. Thanks for the inspiration.<br />pvepve designhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03527745630303158002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-58545632442473485202010-05-16T07:32:19.681-07:002010-05-16T07:32:19.681-07:00I feel the tension here in your marriage (again, s...I feel the tension here in your marriage (again, something I'm familiar with)... and I urge you, my dear, to please, let your husband decide about these things. Stop pushing him so much. Let God work on his heart. Just work on being the best wife and mother you can be; feed your family wonderful meals while still keeping a frugal budget; work at building up a pantry (by shopping sales) that would feed your family for at least one solid month without shopping at all (except for milk, eggs, and produce); work at being more kind, more loving, more generous with your time and smiles and love. <br /><br />And put every single worry about caring for the poor in God's hands. You will be amazed at what happens in your husband if you would just let him be the provider and make more of the decisions about finances.<br /><br />I know, because I've seen it happen in my own husband. He is now more generous with our charitable giving than I would be! A number of years ago I finally decided to leave it all up to God, and to not mention it again. Wow. It's amazing. Now he is the one who decides to increase our church donations, he has found a charity near and dear to his own heart, he is the one who always comes up with an amount to give that is more than I was thinking!<br /><br />Just put it in God's hands. Your vocation is to be a wife and mother. It can be a temptation to care more for the distant poor in Darfur then for the feelings of our own husbands. We are bound to them by a sacred vow and a sacrament; that's mighty powerful.<br /><br />You don't have to publish this is you don't want... and again, please don't let my strong words offend you ... I am only telling you what I've learned on my path.<br /><br />God bless you and your family!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-16435325444926677452007-09-21T06:44:00.000-07:002007-09-21T06:44:00.000-07:00I'm late to the conversational party here but am t...I'm late to the conversational party here but am too intrigued to just pass by.<BR/><BR/>You just served the poor by writing this. The title of your blog speaks of the passion of your heart and can certainly be used by God to help others gain attentiveness to a similar call.<BR/><BR/>You feel passion for giving to the poor out of the love of Christ. The giving, though useful, is most delightful to God because it's a response to the touch of his hand. For your husband, who's a different person, what does a personal response to the love of Christ look like? Is it deeper prayer? More attentiveness to his guardianship of the family? Willingness to face anxieties and grow in courage?<BR/><BR/>Perhaps this might be an opportunity for you both to grow in unity around supporting each other in responding to God's call in spite of difficulties. <BR/><BR/>Forgive my intrusiveness, but could he be experiencing pressure from you towards an action that doesn't sit right with him? In that case, it might be hard to let go of "protecting the position" long enough to listen to the cry of your heart and work together with you to figure out how you can respond to this deep desire of yours in a way that he can be peaceful with. <BR/><BR/>[And, on a practical note, how about gleaning cast-offs and garage sale finds and <A HREF="http://givingworks.ebay.com/sell/" REL="nofollow">selling them on eBay to raise funds for charity</A>? If you happen to have more time than money (a huge leap of assumption, I know), it's possible to trade one for the other.]<BR/><BR/>I admire you, dear sister in Christ. May God pour out more and more grace on you and your family.<BR/><BR/>God bless you,<BR/><BR/>Roz<BR/><A HREF="http://exultet.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">Exultet</A>Rozhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06233565410780178589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-28479025086261199462007-09-05T10:08:00.000-07:002007-09-05T10:08:00.000-07:00My husband is not Catholic, and I am. He is Chris...My husband is not Catholic, and I am. He is Christian but doesn't go to church. So the question of "tithe" comes up - how much? 10%? 5% since I'm half of the couple? What about other charitable donations?<BR/><BR/>Into this mix throw in that he wants to rebuild our computer, I think it's fine. He wants to upgrade other things, I'll make do. We rarely see eye-to-eye on what is necessary or not.<BR/><BR/>One thing that has helped was going to a cash system. Our budget for household expenses is $200/week (way more than your $100! Wonder if I can cut back) (That also includes diapers, paper products, clothes, school supplies, and everything else you can buy at Walmart and Target).<BR/><BR/>Money left over - I can spend as I want (well, within reason). So my time clipping coupons, etc. is also time I'm giving to God, if I use it for the poor, prolife causes, etc.<BR/><BR/>We also fundamentally disagree on how much of our budget should be spent on Cokes. Me = $0. Husband = At least one Coke everyday. More if there's a long honey-do list.<BR/>Our solution is that we each get $20 of "our" money to spend on whatever we want. Theoretically, I could use that money for tithing, etc. but really I use it for Mocha Joe's at Burger King and at the used bookstore. I think I need to cut down on the Mocha Joe's and beef up the donations after reading your post!<BR/><BR/>BTW< St. Frances of Rome is my patron saint. Her story is really relevant to your situation.Milehimama @ Mama Sayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04755353355022539817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-67262873146827016032007-09-03T22:37:00.000-07:002007-09-03T22:37:00.000-07:00Because of you, I have just donated $50 to the Int...Because of you, I have just donated $50 to the International Rescue Committee. So you see, you have made a difference. I applaud your efforts to be the change you desire in this world, and as a Buddhist, deeply respect that your faith leads you to be that change. My fondest and best wishes to you in your quest to balance your individual fire for stewardship with your desire to have a balanced marriage of equals.Single Mama NYChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07598244426035959968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-74286125923263609862007-09-02T16:43:00.000-07:002007-09-02T16:43:00.000-07:00dang..that's the second time I abbreviated Mother ...dang..that's the second time I abbreviated Mother with Mr. that really looks strange...I'd like you to meet Mister Teresa...:-PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-52835200280174524592007-09-02T15:28:00.000-07:002007-09-02T15:28:00.000-07:00Tienne,I think your desires are not only understan...Tienne,<BR/>I think your desires are not only understandable, but admirable. However in the interest of trying to offer an idea that may possibly help you find a way out of this dilemma, I'd like to just suggest a change of focus in how you conceive poverty.<BR/><BR/>I am hinting here at Mr. Teresa's observation that...<BR/><BR/><I>"In the developed countries there is a poverty of intimacy, a poverty of spirit, of loneliness, of lack of love. There is no greater sickness in the world today than that one." </I><BR/><BR/>...and ask if there isn't a way to look right in your back yard at how you might sever those in poverty in the spiritual sense? <BR/><BR/>There are no lack of such people in our culture despite our wealth. And you might just be able to 'feed' them with other 'talents' than dollars (your time, your love, your touch). <BR/><BR/>Visiting abandoned folks in a nursing home? Teaching CCD at your local parish? I could go on and on. <BR/><BR/>Maybe you can fulfill the call in another way that not only fits with your situation, but might be even more inspiring to your husband.<BR/><BR/>On top of it all, please never forget that as a mother you feed the hunger, care for the sick, clothe the naked, and all the rest....ever day. It's no small thing itself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-25862358702268627272007-09-02T13:25:00.000-07:002007-09-02T13:25:00.000-07:00Tienne- thank you for the honesty of this post. We...Tienne- thank you for the honesty of this post. We are struggling with this same issue. I don't have any advice to give on this struggle, but I did want to encourage you to take the "slow" approach by getting to an agreement with your spouse first. <BR/><BR/>Two years ago, I ran into a similar financial issue. We were trying to launch a home business at the same time that we were expecting a newborn--and ran out of savings. I was raised on the firm saying "never have credit card debt." My husband wanted to borrow $8,000. My reluctant compromise was to borrow the money, if he promised to get a job in six months when the interest was due in order to pay it off quickly. Well, six months later, we had a 3 month old, an 18 month old, a home business that was still not taking off, a family income that landed us on food stamps AND $400 due a month in credit card payments. My husband at this time couldn't find a job- and I was so mad! I KNEW that we shouldn't have taken on that credit debit. I must have brought this issue up during every marital spat for at least a year.<BR/><BR/>Finally, I read this article about finances and marriage in the Washington Post. The author stated her shock that people treated "money" issues differently than issues about child-rearing, etc. It was all just things to find an acceptable compromise on.<BR/><BR/>From that moment on, I made a conscious decision never to fight about this issue again. I figured that even if I wanted to never have credit card debt, I gave up the right to have all of my money decisions made exactly how I wanted them as soon as I became married. <BR/><BR/>Of course, things have worked out! By not being able to pay on our credit card for so long, we were able to qualify for a much more reasonable repayment plan. The money out each month forces us to be frugal, without sacrificing the basics. The time that we did "live off of borrowed money", meant that my husband could build up a design portfolio which lead to him getting hired as a manager, in a job that can now support us all. Meanwhile, my son was a high-needs baby who greatly benefited from having two parents at home to hold him.<BR/><BR/>I know that your situation is unique because you're trying to follow the example of Jesus, and not just some random Susie Ormond advice like I was. Still I just wanted to share my Frances of Rome story, that God's will and timing is really perfect and that our job as married women is to put our marriage first, even ahead of things we think we know to be true.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14927751448670046314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-34960775261637601442007-09-02T05:24:00.000-07:002007-09-02T05:24:00.000-07:00Tienne...in spite of your frustrations, this is a ...Tienne...in spite of your frustrations, this is a beautiful & thoughtful post. & this is similar to some of the struggles my husband & i have had - which after 20 years of marriage i see are rooted in different thought processes (thankfully God made man & woman different & complimentary!). A husband/father tends to see the needs of his immediate family - how he must provide for them. My husband is very focused on that & it is a very deep thing with him. he is also very wary of what charities will do with the funds. i tend to see things in a perspective as you describe. i am *still* struggling with the words of the Gospel..."sell all you have & give to the poor..." as a single woman, i am certain that i would do just that (St. Francis of Assisi is one of my drawn-to saints & now i must go read up on St. Frances of Rome!). but in spiritual direction, somewhere in the years, i was told or read that our callings require different interpretations of that - if our family of 6 sold everything, we would not be prudent.<BR/><BR/>that said, i still would rather wear consignment clothing & shop for bargains with coupons,off season buys, etc (& have continued so in spite of my husband's increases in income - with countless stories of blessings i could tell you). your post on the bath mat really touched me!!<BR/><BR/>early in our marriage we began tithing, which my husband was very skeptical of for awhile. we agreed that we would only give to persons/situations that would receive the money directly rather than an organization that takes money for administrative pay. we pray & discuss together before we give. that came out of a lot of prayer. but i still feel we should do more, however i let that be in God's hands, because i believe God speaks to both spouses & when a change is needed, they are *both* nudged in that direction. in the meantime, i think jennifer f. speaks very wisely to your circumstances. and you may always give through your time & your own physical & spiritual gifts. also consider that your blog & your example of a godly wife/mother is a very valuable giving to the world around you.qualcosa di bellohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15107076097533430296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-57036574192849522222007-09-01T21:14:00.000-07:002007-09-01T21:14:00.000-07:00I just read this great bio of a saint previously u...I just read this great bio of a saint previously unknown to me, <A HREF="http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=49" REL="nofollow">St. Frances of Rome</A>. Certain aspects of her story reminded me of yours, such as her getting in trouble for giving food to the poor during a plague. Anyway, I thought you might like to know of her and perhaps ask for her intercession in helping you find a solution.Jennifer @ Conversion Diaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11894992378619176830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-15967066722606340292007-09-01T16:17:00.000-07:002007-09-01T16:17:00.000-07:00It still blows my mind that you could come out bei...It still blows my mind that you could come out being $106 every week. My bill can vary by $60 from one week to the next. <BR/><BR/>Still no particular advice, except to confidently ask God for a solution.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09678151760343861879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-76255548459533573362007-08-30T14:46:00.000-07:002007-08-30T14:46:00.000-07:00Tienne - really random thought: is it an option th...Tienne - really random thought: is it an option that perhaps you could donate some of your time to getting *others* to donate money? With your passion I wouldn't be surprised if you were able to be a very effective fundraiser. You may be able to talk others into donating far more than you guys would be able to even if your husband were on board.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, just a thought. Keep us posted!Jennifer @ Conversion Diaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11894992378619176830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-42040342912229709792007-08-28T13:56:00.000-07:002007-08-28T13:56:00.000-07:00Sister, that means so much coming from you!Sister, that means so much coming from you!Tiennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13315891571577431883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2153837725275468414.post-57233729090420817152007-08-28T12:55:00.000-07:002007-08-28T12:55:00.000-07:00I have a great deal of admiration for you.I have a great deal of admiration for you.Sister Mary Marthahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00580244097177195453noreply@blogger.com